Thursday, December 4, 2008

Holy Jumpin' Coyotes Marching Band!


We are not football fans, and the Phoenix Coyotes are not a football team. So you can imagine our surprise when the Coyotes busted out with marching band uniforms for their new third jersey. Sit back and enjoy the parade ladies and gentlemen, as The Diva & special guest The Virg introduce the line-up…

Enter Wayne Gretzky: Band Director extraordinaire. Some would say the greatest band member of all time, now come back to lead a new group of young talent to stardom. He leads his band with an iron wand. He likes to switch the tunes up a bit from performance to performance, causing the band members to have trouble feeling comfortable with their ensembles. Gretzky is a true master of performance...

Shane Doan is large and in charge as Drum Major. He always knows the music and keeps perfect time. He exemplifies true leadership in all its forms. The stars make up the core of the band:

  • The Percussionists. Mikkel Boedker is smashing on his cymbols and Todd Fedoruk plays a mean xylophone; while Martin Hanzal can be found proclaiming, "we need more cow bell". Enver Lisin is subtly sexy on the triangle while Keith Yandle and Ken Klee keep the ensemble strong and steady on their bass drums.

  • The Winds bring an important element to the band. Kevin Porter and Kyle Turris serenade the action with their clarinets. Dan Carcillo is bringing the funk with his alto saxophone. And Daniel Winnik makes the oboe one bad ass instrument. Sweetening the deal we have Viktor Tikhonov with his piccolo and David Hale on the Flute.
  • The Brass stays sassy with Brian McGrattan teetering about on his tuba. Steve Reinprecht and Kurt Sauer ham it up on the trumpet and Zybnek Michalek performs miracles with his french horn. Up next is Derek Morris, always a class act on his trombone.

  • What would a band be without its entourage? When he's not injured, Olli Jokinen shows up! It might be an assist rather than a goal, but those are just as important! And who is that flirting with The Pack girls? Oh! It's none other than Peter Mueller... Ulf Sammuelsson heads up Ed Jovanovski and the Flag Twirlers while mascots Ilya Bryzgalov and Mikael Tellqvist excite the crowd with their zany antics. (Look! Bryz has just made a balloon hot dog! Oh Bryz… you’re so hilarious...)
While they may be pretty to look at in their red/sand/black weasel/fox/ferret uniforms, it is truly all about the music that they make together. Their award winning performances include:

"Bad Boys" by Inner Circle
"Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Pat Benatar
"Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns N Roses
"U Can't Touch This" by M.C. Hammer
"Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake
"Ridin’" by Chamillionaire
"Drop It Like Its Hot" by Snoop Dogg
"Under Pressure" by Queen
An Ode to the Stanley Cup: "Somewhere Out There" by Fievel in American Tale with special solo vocal performance by Todd "The Fridge" Fedoruk
And then they wind it down with a little...
"Red Light Special" by TLC

For some reason, this playlist isn't working in here. But if you click on the "pop out" link below you can hear all the Coyotes favorite songs to perform...










Disclaimer: It's a joke people... do not read this blog if you offend easily.

4 comments:

hipcheck said...

OMG, if I was feeling better, I would have fallen out of my chair laughing. You two crack me up!! And I like that you threw in that Fridge was singing. I hope you remind him to wear his teeth... :)

Carcillo13 said...

Can you imagine what "Somewhere Out There" would sound like with no teeth??? OMG "Sthoooooooomewhere out Th(spit)ereeeeee"

Anonymous said...

That was amazing! And the image of Jovo the Flag Twirler may be stuck in my head for quite awhile...

Of course I think we can all agree that last night, Marty rocked the cowbell!

Carcillo13 said...

LOL Thanks!
And Marty TOTALLY rocked the cow bell last night...

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